How-To

This is a sticky subject

Now I didn’t bring this up, ok? Sally posted on suggested rants”¦so don’t blame me! LOL! But I have to admit this topic is one of my all time pet peeves! I know I am not alone in this”¦how many of you have done the stiff leg shoe drag into a store while mumbling under your breath words no one under 17 should hear trying to remove the gum from your espadrille? More…

Have any of you looked at a mall parking lot lately and seen the multi-colored sticky landmines?? It’s like a game of Twister getting from your vehicle into the “safe zone” past the oozing gum piles! I mean COME ON people”¦do you HAVE to toss your Juicy Fruit so casually out of your mouths as you do. Of course, NO one reading this is a culprit of said tacky offense. And I honestly would like to be arriving at the exact moment one of these Double Mint Twins are tossing their ABC gum to be able to confront them and question their total lack of shoe respect. I know it would fall on deaf ears I am sure and it would probably turn nasty ending up in a slap fest with me ending up with gum in my hair not to mention a huge dent in my dignity. But I’m sure you all understand my total peeved-ness with this!

After all, we are NOT asking too much of them to hold their gum for the few added seconds it takes to walk to the nearest trash receptacle. How much effort would that take, seriously? Common courtesy people! What is the rush to remove the gum from your mouth as soon as your feet hit the pavement? Chewed gum is one of those substances that will outlast even the single-celled creatures for resilience to meteor blast/nuclear war/Armageddon”¦I know decades after I’m pushing up daisy my local mall parking lot will still have the same oozing gum mines waiting like a tar pit for an unsuspecting victim.

And have you noticed the cruel twists of fate associated with stepping in gum”¦Like a Sticky Murray’s Law?

You will be running late for whatever you were arriving for.
You will be wearing shoes with added traction soles”¦those little crevices just right for getting packed with gum.
The parking lot will be filled (no matter what time of day) with normal people not needing to drag their leg like Long John Silver, rut thru grassy patches like a dog or understand your truck drivers use of language while dressed like their mom.
Your inherent ability to balance on one leg will leave you and you will be forced to hop around like a Flamingo on crack.
A shoe thrown like a boomerang will not return”¦.


I have also noticed that some people are prone to step in gum on an unnatural basis”¦like their shoes have a built-in gum-dar”¦.my dear husband is one of these blessed folks. He is also prone to find any animal waste in the vicinity too. This Fall we spent a few days in NYC and had a leisurely stroll thru Central Park”¦sun shining, runners running”¦horse drawn carriages clopping peacefully by. Yep”¦you guessed it…my hubby stepped in horse manure. I looked at him, smiled and said, “Aren’t you glad we didn’t go to the circus as they have elephants and you’d be up to your knees.” It could have been worse”¦the horse could have been chewing gum”¦.